Paul Harvey Meets "Weird Al"

"Weird Paul" Harvey: And on the eighth day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said I need a caretaker…so God made a farmer.
God said I need somebody willing to patch a leaky rain gutter with the leftover scrotal sack of a recently gelded steer, so god made a farmer.
God said I need somebody willing to suck on the subsidizing teat of the USDA by growing acre upon acre of straight corn; so much corn that the main ingredient of the modern American diet becomes high fructose corn syrup, leading to an obesity epidemic of gastronomic proportions and now, if stop and listen carefully, you’ll hear the Ozempic slide down the needle and inject into the flabby ass cheeks of this country’s citizenry, so god made a farmer.
Interrupting Man: God made a farmer for that...
"Weird Paul" Harvey: ...SO GOD MADE A FARMER!
It had to be somebody to muck, pluck, and shuck, 
Somebody to dig, dredge, dam and jam,
Somebody to sow the seeds, top the tobacco, and haul in the hay,
Somebody who would hire a team of migrant laborers to do all the aforementioned hard work
Who would laugh and then sigh and then reply with smiling eyes when his son says that he wants to spend his life doing what John Dutton from Yellowstone does… so God made a farmer